Sirius side 1981
by meals
Summary: Sirius' pov on what happened at Godricks Hallow. J/L one shot


_**Right, this is the sequel to How it Happened, which is a story about how James and Lily got together, and it also explains what happened to the Potter side of Harry's family. In one part of it it mentions that James' sister vanished, so this is her story.**_

_*******_

**October 31st, 1981, :**

Sirius

The moterbike landed with a bump that jarred his teeth and bite his tongue, helping along the stinging sensation in his eyes. His tears were only held back because of his practice in not crying - abusive, crazy parents - and because of that tiny, weeny shred of hope, battling fiercely against the building panic inside him.

The hope was loosing.

In front of where Sirius had just sent up a wave of mud was a house. The top right corner was falling in and it had a dark empty look about it. It could have been haunted, but Sirius didnt want to believe that.

In actual fact, Sirius was only a little too late for his reason to be here. He couldnt warn the Potters about Wormtail being taken, because no doubt they'd realized that when _he'd _turned up.

The garden that Lily had so prided herself on was already beginning to grow wild, as if it realized that the strict owner was no longer there.

And she wasnt, no doubt about that. Neither was Harry. Or James. The deaths of Lily and Harry _together _couldnt compete with that. Much as he loved them he would've killed them himself to save James, his saviour, his friend, his confident, his shoulder, his rock, his _life!_ Was gone.

And with that horrifying knowledge Sirius clambered of his huge black and white bike, knelt in the mud and cried. For the first time in years he cried. He hadnt cried when both Jess and Marie had been killed. Though everyone else had. Even James.

But not Sirius. Because Sirius, who had been through so much at the hands of his parents, had never felt the need.

Infact, he mostly felt the need not to cry - for someone had to hold up the others.

But now he did, letting out the stores he had been saving for a special occasion. You're best friend, you're _true _best friend, only dies once. And you can never replace them. Even if you wanted to.

Every tear stung Sirius' cheek and tasted like salt in his lips.

And then something slammed down onto his shoulder, and whirling around he saw a pitying faced Hagrid staring down at him. The supposed rock that had hit him was infact Hagrids hand, patting him comfortingly.

And then, neither one knowing how, Sirius was in Hagrids arms, crying heavily and shaking madly, enough for the giant to notice through his heavy coat.

"Jeez, ma'. I'm real sorry. Mus' be 'ard for you." Hagrid had no idea of the ripping, searing pain that was Sirius'.

"It 'urts me, so Ive go' no idea wha' i' mus' be doing to you." He'd started blabbing, crying men were even worse then crying women in Hagrids books.

"I mean, when I go' there, an' I saw James jus' lyin' there, with the onl' loo' of concentration ive ever seen him with. I though' Dumble'ore mus've been mad, sendin' me a colec' Harry, 'cause if James was dead then Harry 'ad to be." Shock froze Sirius' blood. Fury coarsed through him at the way Hagrid was talking, but at the same time relief fought against it. Harry was alive.

A picture of the small, messy haired baby, who already resembled his friend came to mind and he took a step away from Hagrid, allowing him to extend his arms, "Give me Harry, Hagrid. Im his godfather, Ill take care of him." But at the same time he knew he didnt want to. It was only James making him.

He didnt know what he wanted. He'd gone numb with disbelief.

"Don' kno' abou' tha' now. Dumble'ores orders you see." Was Hagrids barely heard reply. Sirius wasnt telling himself to argue, to appear half sane, but he did without realizing. Must have been a long forgotten instinct of hiding when you were dying inside.

Then a sentence came through the haze surrounding him , "Don' you think you ough' to go an' see Lupin and Pe'er?"

Yes, he ought to to. Well, half ought to. He should go and see Peter. Make him pay for this unbelievable pain he was feeling.

He heard himself thanking Hagrid, but didnt take much notice of it. He was still unable to free himself of this fog of grief.

Only revenge seemed to matter now.

His brain kicked into 1st gear slowly, unwillingly.

Only him and Peter knew that Peter was the traitor.

The rest of the people who knew about the fidelius charm would think him the traitor... Dumbledore, the Ministor, Remus, the rest of the order. He was a traitor to them.

So he had to avoid being seen, or he wouldnt get his revenge.

He cast the un-trackable charm on himself, but part of him knew it wasnt enough... the bike. They could still track the bike. It would leave residues of magic in the air, or on the ground for that matter.

Get rid of the bike, "Hagrid!" Sirius called to the half giant who had just managed to squeeze through the gate.

With a half annoyed - half relieved look Hagrid glanced over his shoulder.

"Take the bike." Sirius ordered, his voice sounding so sure that it was almost possible to forget what was happening. But not quite.

When Hagrid started to protest Sirius raised his eyebrows, "You're probably late as it is Hagrid, it'll be quicker to motorfly." And he walked away, into the darkness, hiding until Hagrid took his bike and left.

Now to track Peter. And with that determined thought he reluctantly left his best friend behind, never seeing him again.

**Ok, just setting the scene. Kindof. Not really. I just wanted to do this :)**


End file.
